The first day of April will now be set aside for the observance of the United States’ move from capitalism to socialism. Barack Obama’s newly appointed Holiday Czar, Carlos Marks, made the announcement today.

“Two hundred thirty-three years after declaring independence from British rule, Americans are now declaring their dependence upon the federal government of the United States. April 1st is really a day to honor the ones who made this move to socialism possible, namely, the American people who voted for the change we are now seeing.”

After the government has moved towards taking over the banks, car industry, health care, and other parts of our lives, the Obama administration thought it would be good to commemorate this historic time.

Celebrations will be held around the country. The government has promised to provide the food and drinks for these events so that the people will not have to be burdened with buying their own. The money that Congress had previously allocated for bonuses for AIG executives, and then took back when the public raised an outcry against it, is being used to fund these celebrations.

Marks also announced that they would begin to gradually phase out Independence Day on July 4th.

I.M. Cirius